Galatians 5:14–15 says, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: Love your neighbor as yourself. If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” The meaning of being a Christian can take many forms, but there are a few common character traits we try to implement and practice in our everyday life. Including seemingly simple guidelines such as being kind, compassionate, and forgiving. Although these seem simple enough, they can sometimes be hard to follow. Especially when we put in difficult situations, but our faith tells us that we are supposed to be understanding, and forgiving, so what happens when you're in the heat of the moment and you lose your cool? I have been struggling with this topic for the last few weeks- shoot, who am I kidding, I've been struggling with this since middle school. Trying to let my faith guide me through drama brought on by gossip or confrontations of any sort is a challenge. Trying to truly forgive is a challenge. Trying to avoid all, and any drama, well now that, that's impossible. So the question remains- How do we do our best to let our Christian values keep us strong when faced with drama? How do we remain kind, and just when we feel the pull to be petty, and angry? I'll let you know when I find the answer... just kidding! While most of our situations and circumstances differ, there are a few general guidelines that will help you remain calm, cool, and able to stick to your Christian values. Thus better preparing you to be able to handle all that drama without getting completely wrapped up in it.
I'm a Christian, and if you're reading this there's a good chance you are as well, so you know that Christians are supposed to, not only be able to forgive but to also forget. According to this statement, we need to not only be able to forgive our neighbors, but also forget and let go of everything they have done to wrong us. Keeping in mind that regardless of if you have the intention to continue a relationship with this person or not it, it is of utmost importance to let go of any negative feelings you have towards them. I realize that's often easier said than done, but if you find yourself able to forgive, you'll be doing yourself a favor just as much as you're doing them a favor. The weight of animosity will be lifted off your shoulders, and will no longer have the power to interfere with your happiness. "If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done." (Matthew 6:14-15)
1.) When It comes to your reaction to whatever drama or gossip you find yourself apart of I have three "simple" guidelines to follow to better ensure you don't fly off the handle- First of all remember, that regardless of what has happened between you, and this other person, if a person is meant to remain in your life, God will make sure they do. However, if you choose to feed off the current drama, and allow it to come in between you, and this person, it could potentially make the issue so big it takes years to repair. Remaining calm, and refraining from reacting can be key to making sure the relationship can be repaired with minimal side effects. Therefore my first piece of advice is, that no matter what has happened before you react simply ask yourself, "How much do I value you this person?" "Do I want to eventually repair this relationship?" Once you have answered both of these you should have a better idea of how to proceed. Proverbs 15:1 states that a soft answer turns away wrath, so if this person's relationship is of value to you- proceed with caution, and have a discussion about the issue at hand, not an argument.
2.) It is important to decide if this "drama" is actually as important as you think it is. In the grand scheme of things is it actually that big of a deal? It's easy to get hurt and respond blindly based on emotions. I recommend giving it a little time to let it sink in. That way you have the time you need to thoroughly think about what the core of the issue is, before you react. I have a tendency to react quickly and be harsh with my words. I have realized responding like this only adds fuel to the fire. That being said, I understand how difficult it can be to remain rational, especially in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately, reacting in the heat of the moment regarding any sort of gossip, confrontation, or drama, does not usually end well. If you can find the willpower to refrain from an immediate reaction, I promise you will save yourself from the inevitable blow out that follows an emotionally charged argument. Not to mention refraining from reacting will also spare you any guilt from saying something you probably shouldn't have. Remember, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Proverbs 20:3 says, “It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
3.) Lastly, and the most difficult for many (especially for millennials) is do not, I repeat DO NOT react over social media or texting. Not only is it impersonal, but the likely hood of your words being misunderstood is almost inevitable. Nowadays we have instant access to almost anyone we'd care to speak to. Just because you have that kind of easy access, does not mean you should use and abuse it. Do your very best to refrain from expressing your anger or annoyance with this person through a text or private message. This next piece of advice should go without saying, but it happens more often than not, so I'll go ahead and include it...DO NOT use social media to broadcast your current opinion of the other person involved. Once you put that out there, there is no going back. The entire world does not need to know about what is going on in your social life, and truthfully nobody actually cares. There are only three people who should be involved in your private matters- you, the other party, and god- because we already know how many prayers you're going to have to send his way to allow you the strength to be able to follow these 3 rules. Drama and gossip are inevitable, but just because we have to learn to deal with it, does not mean we have to react to it. You can't control everything that goes on, but you can control how you respond to it. Of course, it hurts when someone speaks negative about you, especially when it's someone you consider a friend. Just keep in mind that others opinions of us really are none of our business. Instead of spending all of your time defending yourself, spend that time bettering yourself. If you believe there is truth to the gossip being spread about you- don't fight it simply prove it wrong by changing your actions. Now if the gossip being spread has no validity then don't even waste your time defending it. Instead, pray for the people who are attempting to slander your good name. Pray, they find peace within themselves that will help them to refrain from projecting their negative self-image onto others. If you decide to focus your time, and energy on moving forward and bettering yourself, instead of defending yourself, you'll be amazed at how much happier you will be. We are all human, we all make mistakes. We can not persecute one another for being human. If someone forgives you when you misspoke or caused some drama in their life pass along that forgiveness when you are wronged. The best way to put a stop to the cycle of gossip and drama is not to participate in it. Jesus already died for our sins, so what kind of message are we sending him if you can't even forgive each other?
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